AN ODE TO MALCOLM

My Dear Friend Malcolm in his early forties and having his first mid-life crisis has joined the Australian Army Reserves

MY ODE TO COPORAL MANNERING ABBOTT.

"Corporal Mannering Abbott ?"
"YES SIR,YES SIR,"
"Attention if you please,
stand up straight,adjust your dress,
stop shaking at the knees."
"YES SIR,YES SIR."

"You're a pretty boy,aren't you Abbott"
"YES SIR,YES SIR."
"Did you know,we're all a little gay,
how will you cope,if you drop the soap.
Abbott--what will you say?"
"YES SIR,YES SIR"

"Think you're tough,Do you Abbott?"
"YES SIR,YES SIR"
"Well,get your rifle when bugle toots
Cause you're the man for Afghanistan,
Osama's shaking in his boots."
"YES SIR, YES SIR"

"High up here,isn't it Abbott?"
"YES SIR,YES SIR"
"Have you ever jumped before?
just follow me ,go one two three,
then out the fu+kin door"
"YES SIR,YES SIR"

"Abbott?"
"YES SIR,YES SIR"
"Pull your cord,you're falling much too quick
Hey recruit,wheres your parachute?
You aint got one,have you prick?"
"NO SIR, S H I T SIR"