HAPPY EASTMAS

This is the last in my trilogy of Chrismas poems for the year--Christmas has burnt me out this year--it seems to have been around forever--no sooner its gone it will be Easter and then it will be Christmas,and then it will be Easter-oh and a birthday and then it will be Christmas------ITS NEVER BLOODY ENDING--and how apt that I should be composing this at 11.30 at night,Christmas Eve 2006.Wife gone to sleep,turkey almost cooked--and I'm ready for bed. Happy Eastmas

IT WAS SOON,JUST AFTER EASTER
THAT SANTA SNUCK ON TO THE SHELVES.
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLOODY YEAR
WE SHOPPED,TO JINGLE BELLS.
THEY SAY,CHRISTMAS IS A HAPPY TIME
A JOYOUS ONE AS WELL.
BUT ITS NOT,NOT IN THEM BLOODY SHOPS,
IN THEM SHOPS IT BLOODY HELL.

"MUMMY,CAN I HAVE A DOLLY?"
"DADDY,CAN I HAVE A BALL?"
"IF YOU SOON DON'T STOP BLOODY NAGGING ME,
YOU'LL BE GETTING BUGGER ALL."
SO,I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF CHRISTMAS,
AND SO IT CAME TO PASS.
THE SHOPS ARE FULL OF LUNATICS,
AND YOU CAN SHOVE IT--UP YOUR ARSE.

BUT NOW,ITS CHRISTMAS EVE,
THE SHOPPINGS OVER,DONE.
IT'S TIME FOR HANGING STOCKINGS UP,
IT'S TIME FOR HAVING FUN.
THE OVENS ON,THE TURKEYS STUFFED
THE PUDDINGS MADE AS WELL
THE KIDS ARE SNUGGLED UP ASLEEP
AS FAR AS I CAN TELL.

AND SOON IT WILL BE OVER.
JUST ONE MORE SLEEP TO GO,
BUT FOR SANTA AND HIS REINDEER
THERE'LL BE NO REST YOU KNOW?
SO I GUESS I REALLY SHOULDN'T COMPLAIN,
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT ISN'T FUNNY
GO SHOPPING AFTER BOXING DAY,
THERE'S THE BLOODY EASTER BUNNY