PARANOIA

HAVE YOU EVER FALLEN ASLEEP AND HAD A DREAM SO REAL,THAT YOU FELT IT REALLY HAPPENED,SOMETHING THAT WAS GOING ON AROUND YOU (WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING)THAT IT BECAME PART OF YOUR DREAM.TODAY JULIE AND I HAD BEEN BUSY AROUND THE HOUSE,WE THEN WENT FOR A DRIVE, CAME HOME AND HAD A SLEEP.I WAS WATCHING THE WRESTLING ON TELEVISION--JULIE LOVES THAT,SHE LOVES IT SO MUCH THAT SHE WENT IN THE OTHER ROOM TO HAVE HER SLEEP,WELL,ACTUALLY SHE WENT IN THERE TO READ BUT WITHIN 10 MINUTES I COULD HEAR THAT SHE WAS ASLEEP( WE'VE SPOKEN OF THE RACKET SHE MAKES WHEN SHE'S ASLEEP) AND THEN SHE STARTED WHIMPERING IN HER SLEEP---I THOUGHT "THAT BLOODY TOM CRUISE" BUT,NO IT WASN'T THAT KIND OF WHIMPER--SHE WAS UPSET IN HER SLEEP--TURNS OUT IT WAS SOME WOMAN THING--YOU KNOW, A DOG GETTING RUNOVER OR THE CREDIT CARD'S OVER ITS LIMIT,THOSE THINGS THAT WOMEN GET UPSET ABOUT---BUT CAN'T DREAMS BE REAL ?

I SLEPT ON THE FLOOR LASTNIGHT,
HAVING HAD MY FILL OF BEER.
I'D JUST DOZED OFF,WHEN I AWOKE,
SHAKING,WET WITH FEAR.
I'D HAD THIS REALLY ROTTEN DREAM
ITS STORY I WILL TELL
AND WHEN I'VE FINISHED TELLING IT
YOU'LL FEEL MY FEAR AS WELL.

I DREAMPT THIS GREAT BIG FUNNELWEB,
WAS CLIMBING ON ME BED.
IT HAD GREAT BIG FURRY TENTACLES
AND A MASSIVE HAIRY HEAD.
IT HAD EYES AS BIG AS SAUCERS
AND TEETH LIKE A MONSTER SHARK,
AS IT SLOWLY CRAWLED ALL OVER ME
IT LET OUT THIS FRIGHTENING BARK

IT STOOD THERE,TOWERING OVER ME.
GOD,DID I FEEL SMALL
ITS LEGS, THEY STRADDLED OVER ME BED,
AND IT WAS TWICE AS BLOODY TALL.
I HAD NO CLUE OF WHAT TO DO,
I JUST LAY THERE, I WAS FROZEN.
IT DIDN'T SEEM,IT WAS JUST A DREAM
AND I WAS ONLY DOZING.

ANYWAY,I DECIDED
TO GET ON THE ATTACK.
BUT TELL BE FOLKS WHAT COULD I DO
HERE LYING,ON ME BACK?
BUT I HAD ME TEETH,
SO I BIT IT.
WHAT A BLOODY WAIL.
AND PEOPLE THATS WHEN I AWOKE,
CHEWING MY DOGS TAIL.