ENAMAZING STORY

It was 32 years ago this August,that I decided to come to Autralia,which I did,in December 1973,obviously just before Xmas that year.I had been living with an Australian girl in London,who after being in England for three years had decided it was time she went home to Australia.As I said ,we lived in London,but she was born and bred in an arsehole of a place called Boggabri,a small town that sits on the river Namoi in country New South Wales.If ever there was a town that resembled the outback towns you hear of in T V shows or movies,Boggabri is it.It is a horrible town,dry ,red soil and within it lived who was at the time my prospective father in-law.He who will remain nameless, he was also horrible,and just as a bonus he hated Pommie Bastards--like me.As it was ,the girl that dragged me all the way from London to Australia---dumped me after being here a few days,and went back to the boyfriend she had before she went to England.As I said,Boggabri a horrible place,girls Dad a horrible man,and as for the girl-? funny enough 25 years later we hooked up again for a short while,and guess what ? She was a horrible person.I dedicate this song(yes folks a song) to the lot of em.


FROM LONDON BRIDGE,TO RIDGY DIDGE
I'VE LIVED A LIFE TO TELL.
FROM KEN STREET HIGH,TO BOGGABRI
FROM PARADISE,TO HELL.
FROM ENGLANDS SOIL,TO SHEARER'S TOIL,
I'VE SEEN IT ALL I FEAR.
BUT IF AUSTRALIA NEEDS AN ENEMA
WELL,BOGGABRI'S ITS REAR.

IF IT SLIPPED INTO THE NAMOI
WHAT A PARTY I WOULD THROW OH BOY!
I'VE SEEN AS MUCH OF IT AS I CAN BARE
ITS AN ARSEHOLE OF A PLACE,
SO PLEASE DON'T SHOVE IT IN MY FACE,
AND IF IT WASN'T FOR THE SHEEP
I WOULDN'T CARE.

I WENT THERE FOR A DAY,ONE HOUR
COULDN'T EVEN GET A BLOODY SHOWER,
ITS A PLACE WHERE BEER IS CHEAPER THAN THE WATER.
BUT THOUGH THE BATH WAS SADLY MISSED
I HIT THE PUB
GOT BADLY PISSED
TO END UP SLEEPING WITH THE FARMERS DAUGHTER

WELL,THAT KIND OF ENDED ALL THE FUN,
THE OLD BOY WENT AND GOT HIS GUN,
LOADED,PULLED THE TRIGGER,BOY IT BLASTED!
WELL I BELTED DOWN THE ROAD
AS HE STARTED TO RE-LOAD
SHOUTING "I'LL KILL YOU;
YOU ROTTEN POMMIE BASTARD."

IF IT SLIPPED INTO THE NAMOI,
WHAT A PARTY THERE WOULD BE OH BOY !
I'VE SEEN AS MUCH OF IT AS I CAN BARE.
ITS AN ARSEHOLE OF A PLACE,
SO PLEASE DON'T SHOVE IT IN ME FACE,
AND IF IT WASN'T FOR THE SHEEP
I WOULDN'T CARE

WELL,THE MAIL TRAIN LEFT QUITE LATE,
IT SEEMED THAT SYDNEY WAS ME FATE.
BUT I HAD ONE LAST MESSAGE FOR HER OLD MAN.
WE WERE TRAVELLING SECOND CLASS
DROPPED ME DAKS AND FLASHED ME ARSE
WHISTLING DIXIE AND SHOUTING CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

CAUSE IF IT SLIPPED INTO THE NAMOI,
WHAT A PARTY I WOULD THROW OH BOY !
I SAW AS MUCH OF IT AS I COULD BARE,
ITS AN ARSEHOLE OF A PLACE
SO PLEASE DON'T SHOVE IT IN ME FACE
AND IF IT WASN'T FOR THE SHEEP
I WOULDNT CARE----
AND IF IT WASN'T FOR THE SHEEP
I WOULDN'T CARE
SHOULD AUSTRALIA NEED AN ENEMA
I'VE FOUND ITS REAR