WHAT A WHOPPER

I can eat,and I mean I CAN EAT but a while back I went to the local pub for what we call in Australia a counter lunch,I ordered the steak,no real meaning in this poem,no worldly rants or solving lives problems,it was just a BIG steak.


I TELL YOU MATE,YOU AINT HAD A STEAK,
AS BIG,NOT FAT,ALL LEAN.
TILL YOU'VE HAD THE ONE LIKE I HAD,
AT A PUB CALLED "THE TOURMALINE"
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE SIZE OF IT,
WHEN IT FINALLY DID ARRIVE,
READY TO EAT AT HALF PAST EIGHT,
ORDERED AT TEN TO FIVE

BUT,THERE WAS GOOD REASON FOR THIS WAIT.
THIS FINE,AND JUICY STEAK
WAS TOO BIG FOR THE BBQ
ONLY ONE AT A TIME COULD TAKE.
PEOPLE CAME FROM DARWIN,
FROM OUR NATIONS FARTHEST EDGE
TO THE PLACE THEY SERVE A STEAK SO BIG,
NO ROOM ON THE PLATE FOR VEG.

A GASTRONOMICAL DELIGHT
OF GIGANTUOUS PROPORTIONS,
YOU COULD NEVER FIT THE WHOLE LOT IN
DESPITE YOUR TUMS CONTORTIONS.
YOU COULD FEED THE WHOLE OF CHINA
WITH JUST ONE OF THESE FINE DISHES,
JESUS ONLY FED FIVE THOUSAND
WITH FIVE LOAVES AND THREE FISHES.

THESE ANIMALS CHOPPED INTO "FRIGHT SIZE PIECES"
ARE ESPECIALLY BRED,
KEPT IN LUSH GREEN PASTURES,
ON ONLY THE BEST GRAIN FED.
THEY SAY,IT IS A MASSIVE BEAST.
AND BRED THIS WAY WHAT'S MORE,
BY MIXING THE GENES OF A BUFFALO,
WITH THAT,OF A DINOSAUR.