LADY ASH OF LEIGH

GOD FORBID, IN DAYS GONE BY THAT A CATHOLIC BOY WOULD BRING HOME A PROTESTANT GIRL,THAT A JEW WOULD BRING HOME A MUSLIM.THAT A CELTIC BOY WOULD BRING HOME A GIRL WHO'S DAD WENT FOR RANGERS.IN THE WEST OF SYDNEY ITS RUGBY LEAGUE WE PLAY.MY COUSIN-IN-LAW AND I,ARE THIRTY ODD YEAR SUPPORTERS OF THE MIGHTY PARRAMATTA EELS.PETE'S DAUGHTER IS ACTUALLY ONE OF THE CHEERLEADERS FOR THE EELS.OTHER STRANGE PEOPLE IN THE WEST OF SYDNEY GO FOR THE PENRITH PANTHERS,MOST OF THEM ARE DEMENTED PEOPLE,THE KIND OF PEOPLE THAT WEAR PITT BULL TERRIERS AROUND THEIR NECKS FOR DECORATION AND CUDDLE THEIR OWN RELATIVES--NEVER MIND EACH TO THEIR OWN--BUT WHAT HAPPENED ? THIS VERY EDUCATED,ATTRACTIVE,UNTIL NOW VERY SENSIBLE GIRL---STARTED GOING OUT WITH A BLOODY PANTHER SUPPORTER.---GOD KNOWS WHAT THEIR CHILDREN MAY TURN OUT LIKE.PETE(WHO WAS A COP UNTIL HE FOUND OUT IT WAS BETTER PAY AND LESS DANGEROUS TO SIT IN AN OFFICE)MUST BE A VERY ,VERY SAD MAN,HE DOESN'T TALK ABOUT IT,HE SMILES-BUT I KNOW!

HIGH.IN THE TOWER
MIDST GLENMORE FOREST,
SITS LADY ASH OF LEIGH.
FOR SHE HAD BEEN A COURTING
A PENRITH LAD, YOU SEE?
SIR BENALOT,A HANDSOME YOUTH
(THOUGH DON'T HAVE MUCH UP TOP)
HAD SNUCK HER OUT THE BACKDOOR
TO AVOID"THE BALDING COP".

FOR THE WICKED,BALDING EX-COP
HAD FORBIDDEN THEY SHOULD MEET,
AND HE HAD CAUGHT THEM SNOGGING
IN THE BUSHES DOWN THE STREET.
"BUGGER OFF YOU LITTLE BASTARD,
SHE'S FOR A MAN OF CLASS,
AND IF I CATCH YOU SNIFFING HERE AGAIN,
I'LL KICK YOU UP THE ARSE."

HEARTBROKEN,SHE SITS IN THE TOWER,
FOR THE MAN SHE LOVED,SHE WAITED
"SIR BENALOT OF PENRITH"
THE MAN HER FATHER HATED.
"PRAY DADDY,TELL ME DADDY
WHY DO YOU HATE HIM SO?
WHY DID YOU TELL HIM BUGGER OFF?
DADDY,WHERE DID BENALOT GO?"

AND THE WICKED,BALDING EX-COP
LOOKED ASH OF LEIGH IN EYE.
A TEAR WAS ROLLING DOWN HIS CHEEK
"DADDY,WHY DO YOU CRY?"
"I HAD TO DO THE THINGS I DID,
THOUGH YOUR LOVE FOR HIM WAS REAL,
HE'S A BLOODY PANTHER,
YOU?-- YOU WERE BORN AN EEL!"