INNACURE INJACKULATION
Isn' it incredible the stuff they advertise on radio these days?You can be riding along in your car and on will come an ad for any kind of cure, or preventative measure for any of natures little cruelties.Advice ?--All the advice for this and that--check your breasts,check your nuts,get your best friend, the doctor, to stick his finger up your bum and check your prostate. Take a sample of your stool to the chemist and they can not only tell you what you ate three days before,but they'll diagnose all sorts of things.
Kids want to know the whole lot too--"whats that mean Dad?" "whats that for Mum ?"--and honestly at times we don't know what to say or where to hide.
INNACURE INJACKULATION
"GOOD MORNING AND WELCOME TO RADIO 2 WEE 2 WOO,
YES FOLKS WE'RE ON THE AIR
AND THE SHOW TODAY IS BROUGHT TO YOU
BY ADULT HEALTH,AND MEDICARE.
LADIES,HAVE YOU CHECKED YOUR BREASTS FOR LUMPS?
AND GENTLEMEN-YOUR PROSTATE?
INFACT,CHECK YOURSELF ALL OVER
BEFORE IT'S ALL TOO LATE.
DO YOU SUFFER FROM PREMATURE EJACULATION
WITH MUM IN THE BEDROOM?
DO YOU LEAVE HER THERE,UP IN THE AIR,
WHEN IT'S OVER ALL TOO SOON?"
"WHAT'S THAT MEAN DAD?"
HE ASKED,WHILST DRIVING TO THE SHOP.
"WHAT'S WHAT MEAN SON?"SAID I
FOR HE'D CAUGHT ME ON THE HOP.
"THAT MAN,WHAT THAT MAN SAID DAD,
THERE,ON THE RADIO STATION.
HE WAS TALKING,AND ASKED IF YOU HAD
INNACURE INJACKULATION."
"OH NO" I THOUGHT,I SHOULDN'T HAVE ASKED,
BUT,I'D THOUGHT IT ALL TOO LATE,
I KNEW WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT,
EVEN THOUGH HE'S ONLY EIGHT.
SO,I DID WHAT ANY CARING DAD WOULD DO,
WITH NO ROCK TO CLIMB BENEATH.
I EXPLAINED IN EVERY DETAIL-
BY LYING THROUGH ME TEETH.
"INNACURE INJACKULATION,SON,
IS ALL ABOUT THE CAR.
AND IF YOU SOON DON'T GET IT FIXED
YOU CAN'T DRIVE VERY FAR.
IT'LL MAKE THE ENGINE SHAKE AND RATTLE
THEN GIVE A COUGH AND SPURT.
THE RADIATOR WILL OVERHEAT
AND GIVE A MIGHTY SQUIRT."
"WELL THATS ODD DAD" HE INTERUPTS
"OH NO!,OH NO!" I THOUGHT,
THINKING THAT I'D PUT AN END TO IT,
BUT NOW IT SEEMS I'M CAUGHT.
"THAT MAN SAID,IN THE BEDROOM DAD,
SO TELL ME DAD,HOW COME
YOU GOT THE CAR INTO THE HOUSE
AND,WHAT'S IT GOT TO DO WITH MUM?"
THIS HOLE WAS GETTING DEEPER,
AND MY FACE WAS GOING RED,
JUST HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN TO A KID
WHAT'S GOING ON IN BED.
"I TELL YOU SON,I DON'T KNOW,
BUT AS ONE MAN TO ANOTHER,
JUST AS SOON AS WE GET HOME
-----GO AND ASK YOUR MOTHER."
Kids want to know the whole lot too--"whats that mean Dad?" "whats that for Mum ?"--and honestly at times we don't know what to say or where to hide.
INNACURE INJACKULATION
"GOOD MORNING AND WELCOME TO RADIO 2 WEE 2 WOO,
YES FOLKS WE'RE ON THE AIR
AND THE SHOW TODAY IS BROUGHT TO YOU
BY ADULT HEALTH,AND MEDICARE.
LADIES,HAVE YOU CHECKED YOUR BREASTS FOR LUMPS?
AND GENTLEMEN-YOUR PROSTATE?
INFACT,CHECK YOURSELF ALL OVER
BEFORE IT'S ALL TOO LATE.
DO YOU SUFFER FROM PREMATURE EJACULATION
WITH MUM IN THE BEDROOM?
DO YOU LEAVE HER THERE,UP IN THE AIR,
WHEN IT'S OVER ALL TOO SOON?"
"WHAT'S THAT MEAN DAD?"
HE ASKED,WHILST DRIVING TO THE SHOP.
"WHAT'S WHAT MEAN SON?"SAID I
FOR HE'D CAUGHT ME ON THE HOP.
"THAT MAN,WHAT THAT MAN SAID DAD,
THERE,ON THE RADIO STATION.
HE WAS TALKING,AND ASKED IF YOU HAD
INNACURE INJACKULATION."
"OH NO" I THOUGHT,I SHOULDN'T HAVE ASKED,
BUT,I'D THOUGHT IT ALL TOO LATE,
I KNEW WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT,
EVEN THOUGH HE'S ONLY EIGHT.
SO,I DID WHAT ANY CARING DAD WOULD DO,
WITH NO ROCK TO CLIMB BENEATH.
I EXPLAINED IN EVERY DETAIL-
BY LYING THROUGH ME TEETH.
"INNACURE INJACKULATION,SON,
IS ALL ABOUT THE CAR.
AND IF YOU SOON DON'T GET IT FIXED
YOU CAN'T DRIVE VERY FAR.
IT'LL MAKE THE ENGINE SHAKE AND RATTLE
THEN GIVE A COUGH AND SPURT.
THE RADIATOR WILL OVERHEAT
AND GIVE A MIGHTY SQUIRT."
"WELL THATS ODD DAD" HE INTERUPTS
"OH NO!,OH NO!" I THOUGHT,
THINKING THAT I'D PUT AN END TO IT,
BUT NOW IT SEEMS I'M CAUGHT.
"THAT MAN SAID,IN THE BEDROOM DAD,
SO TELL ME DAD,HOW COME
YOU GOT THE CAR INTO THE HOUSE
AND,WHAT'S IT GOT TO DO WITH MUM?"
THIS HOLE WAS GETTING DEEPER,
AND MY FACE WAS GOING RED,
JUST HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN TO A KID
WHAT'S GOING ON IN BED.
"I TELL YOU SON,I DON'T KNOW,
BUT AS ONE MAN TO ANOTHER,
JUST AS SOON AS WE GET HOME
-----GO AND ASK YOUR MOTHER."
posted by tonyfromwindsor | January 31, 2007
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