TAKING DOPE TO BALI

I DON'T GET IT,SCHAPELLE CORBY IS FACING A LIFE IN PRISON,OR EVEN THE DEATH PENANLTY,FOR TRYING TO SMUGGLE 4.5 KG OF AUSTRALIAN DOPE INTO BALI.DALE A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE MANAGED TO SMUGGLE AROUND 60 K G OF AUSTRALIAN DOPE INTO BALI-NO PROBLEM.ANOTHER FRIEND OF MINE KATHY,SMUGGLED AROUND 90 K.G OF NEW ZEALAND GROWN DOPE INTO BALI-NO PROBLEM.WHATS MORE THEY BOTH MANAGED TO GET SIMILAR AMOUNTS OF DOPE -OUT OF BALI--SCHAPELLE WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG?

IF I EVER GO TO BALI,
NOT MEANING TO BE RUDE.
BUT I'M GOING TO FLY THERE NAKED
YES,I'M FLYING IN THE NUDE.
THEY'LL FIND NO DOPE ON ME FOR SURE
I SWEAR UPON MY SOLE
THEY CAN SEARCH IN EVERY ORIFICE
IN EACH AND EVERY HOLE

AND I'LL TAKE WITH ME NO LUGGAGE
I'LL BUY IT WHEN I LAND
AND EVERYTHING I TAKE WITH ME
I'M KEEPING IN MY HAND.
CAUSE YOU JUST CAN'T TRUST THE BUGGERS
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'LL FIND
WHEN THEY RUMMAGE THROUGH YOUR LUGGAGE,
SET YOU UP,OR ROB YOU BLIND

JUST THINK OF SCHAPELLE CORBY
STUCK IN THAT BALI CELL
AND OF THOSE OTHER SILLY BUGGERS
STUCK IN THAT LIVING HELL.
DON'T GO THERE FRIENDS,STAY AT HOME
HOLIDAY IN OZ
YOU DON'T NEED TO SEE NO OTHER PLACE
WE'RE IN THE BEST THERE WAS

SWEAT(NOT SWEET. NOT WET) SWEAT DREAM

THIS POEM NEEDS NO ITRODUCTION OR EXPLANATION-----ENJOY (I HATE THAT,YOU KNOW ONE DAY I WENT INTO A SHOE SHOP AND GOT A PAIR OF BOOTS-UPON PAYING THE BLOKE IN THE SHOP SAID "ENJOY" ITS BAD ENOUGH IN A CAFE--BUT A SHOE SHOP?)

ROLLING SEAS,
WAVES,KISS THE SHORE.
BIRDS HOVERING ON HIGH
FOR MORSELS SCAN.
HORIZONS,HORIZONS SO FAR,
WHAT LIES BEYOND.
AM I LOST?
AM I AT ALL?
OR DO I JUST EXIST,IN ME.
ALAS,I KNOW NOT.

"TONE-----TONE--WAKE UP--WAKE UP"

"HUH?"
WOULD IT BE
THAT I SHOULD FLY?
COULD IT BE?
NO--NO NOT I

"TONE--WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT?"

"HUH--WHAT?"

"COR BILMEY MATE,
WHATS GOING ON
I COULDN'T HAVE BEEN
ASLEEP FOR LONG"

"YOU WERE,
YOU WERE IN THE LAND OF NOD
RANTING A RAVING
YOU SILLY SOD."

"KNOW WHAT?
I DREAMED THE POETS CURSE
THE STUFF I HATE.
NON RHYMING VERSE.
IT KEPT ME AWAKE
HALF THE NIGHT,
WOKE UP IN A SWEAT
RECITING SHITE"

K.C ,THE MAN FROM SNOWY RIVER

HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN A JOB TO A BLOKE THAT SAID HE COULD DO THIS AND THAT,JUST TO FIND OUT AFTER THE INTERVIEW,AND YOU'VE GIVEN HIM THE JOB-THAT IT WAS ALL BULLSHIT? THIS IS THAT STORY ON AN AUSTRALIAN STATION."THE MAN FROM SNOWY RIVER" WAS AN ORIGINAL BUSH POEM WRITTEN BY BANJO PATTERSON IN 1890-(THE SAME MAN THAT WROTE "WALTZING MATILDA") I MEAN HIM NO DISRESPECT WITH MY VERSE.

HE,WAS THE MAN FROM SNOWY RIVER.
AT LEAST,THATS WHAT HE THOUGHT.
THE MASTER OF THE EQUINE BEAST,
A KNOW ALL-----SELF TAUGHT.
HE HAD CHARGE OF THE STATION NAGS,
'CAUSE,THE COCKY,HE WAS "FULL"
TOO DRUNK AT K.C'S INTERVIEW
TO RECOGNISE THE "BULL".
FIRST MORNING IT WAS OBVIOUS
AT MUSTER HE WAS THERE,
THE FIRST HE HAD TO SADDLE UP
WAS THE STUBBORN OLD GREY MARE.
"DOGS MEAT" WHAT THEY CALLED HER
FOR SHE WAS AN EVIL BITCH
YOU COULDN'T EVEN TALK TO HER
WITHOUT A STOCK WHIP AND A TWITCH.
K.C WALKED TOWARDS HER
IN HAT AND DUNGAREES,
"HEY BOW LEG,WHERE'S YOUR SIX GUN ?"
THE SHEARERS SHOUT THERE TEASE.
UNAMUSED AND UNRUFFLED
HE SAUNTERED TO HIS FOE,
THEN JUST BETWEEN THREE PACES
THE OLD GREY MARE LET GO.
IN THE AIR SHE WENT,
AND ALL FOUR LEGS AT THAT,
MIDST THE DUST ,THE TURMOIL
OFF FLEW K.C'S HAT,
HE DROPPED THE PAD AND BRIDLE
AND TOOK OFF LIKE A NARK.
BUT THE OLD GREY MARE THOUGHT "THIS IS FUN"
AND CHASED HIM ROUND THE PARK.
THE LAUGHTER WAS TREMENDOUS
AS THE SHEARING GANG LOOKED ON,
BUT THINGS QUICKLY QUIETENED DOWN
WHEN THE COCKY CAME ALONG.
"WHATS GOIN ON ?" HE SCREAMED
"WHY'S NOT THE SHEARING STARTED?
WHY AREN'T THOSE HORSES SADDLED UP?
AND WHY NOT THE EWES ALL YARDED?"
THEN HE LOOKED OUT IN THE PADDOCK,
FIRST HE SAW THE MARE,
AND,THROUGH ALL THE DUST AND STUFF,
SAW K.C,STANDING THERE.
"OLD GIRL" HAD GOT HIM CORNERED,
HE WOULDN'T MOVE,NO WAY.
AND IF IT WASN'T FOR THE COCKY,
HE'D BE THERE TO THIS DAY.
NO LONGER IN THE STOCKMANS HAT,
NO MORE IN DUNGAREES,
ITS SEEMS WHILE "OLD GREY" WAS CHASING HIM
THEY'D FALLEN TO HIS KNEES.
"YOU SAID YOU WERE A HORSEMAN"
THE COCKY OUT HE CRIED.
"PICK UP YOUR SWAG,AND MOVE ON OUT"
FOR THE COCKY KNEW HE'D LIED.
"GET YOUR STUFF,GET OUT OF HERE,
FOR YOU THERE'LL BE NO PAY"
THE OLD GREY MARE,KICKED HIS REAR
AND HELPED HIM ON HIS WAY.
THE MASTER OF THE EQUINE BEAST,
A KNOW ALL ,SELF TAUGHT.
THE MAN FROM SNOWY RIVER,
AT LEAST,THATS WHAT HE THOUGHT.

THE COCKY'S DAUGHTER'S PET

THIS IS ANOTHER POEM INSPIRED BY OLD JIM.FOR THOSE NOT LIVING IN AUSTRALIA IT MAY BE IMPORTANT TO KNOW,THAT THE COCKY IS THE STATION (FARM) BOSS &TUCKER IS FOOD.ON THESE STATIONS, THE COCKY LIVES WITH HIS FAMILY,AND AS ANYWHERE ELSE, KIDS FALL IN LOVE WITH PETS.ON A STATION USUALLY IT'S A LAMB OR YOUNG SHEEP,AND THEY MAKE SUCH A FUSS OF THE ANIMALS, THAT THEY BECOME IMPOSSIBLE TO HANDLE LIKE THE OTHER SHEEP.BUT LIKE ALL THE OTHER SHEEP,THEY NEED TO BE SHORN.

"ITS THE LAST ONE THAT I'LL SHEAR TODAY,
THEN I'M HANGING UP ME TOOL.
COME HERE YOU ROTTEN MONGREL THING
DON'T TAKE ME FOR A FOOL.
I'VE HAD TWO HUNDRED LIKE YOU THIS DAY
AND NOW ITS TIME FOR TUCKER'
I'M NOT GOING TO FIGHT WITH YOU ALL NIGHT
COME HERE YOU WOOLEY BUGGER."

THE COCKY'S DAUGHTERS PET,
THE ONE HE LET HER KEEP
IT ACTS MORE LIKE A PUPPY DOG,
THAN ALL THE OTHER SHEEP.
EVERY STATIONS GOT ONE,
OR TWO OR THREE OR MORE
AND I'M SUPPOSED TO SHEAR THEM,
WHAT DO THEY TAKE ME FOR?

"GET OVER HERE LAMB CHOPS,
I'M NOT CHASING AFTER YOU.
I'LL SLIT YER BLOODY THROAT YER THING
AND YOU'LL END UP IN A STEW.
PET OR NO PET,
MATTERS NOT TO ME
I'LL HAVE YER COAT LIKE ALL THE REST,
THEN I'M GOING TO HAVE ME TEA"

HALF THE NIGHT I CHASED THIS THING
ALL AROUND THE PARK
AND BY THE TIME I CAUGHT IT
IT WAS NEARER MORN THAN DARK.
BUT I CAUGHT IT,AND I CLIPPED IT
NO BEATING ME,YOU BET.
YEP,EVERY STATIONS GOT ONE,
THE COCKY'S DAUGHTERS PET.

THE STUBBORN OLD GREY MARE

THE INCUBATOR OF MY SON,HAD A HORSE,THAT JUST DIDN'T LIKE TO GO ON THE HORSE-FLOAT AS WAS ITS OWNER,IT WAS STUBBORN AND ONLY WANTED TO DO WHAT SHE WANTED.THIS IS THE STORY.

THERE'S AN OLD GREY MARE IN THE PADDOCK,
THATS DECIDED SHE'S GOING TO STAY.
NO MATTER THE MEANS,AND WAYS WE TRY
SHE'S NOT GOING--NO WAY!
WE'VE POKED AND PRODDED WITH NEEDLES
AND FILLED HER FULL OF DRUGS,
BUT SHE JUST STANDS FIRM,WITH ROLLING EYES,
STARING,IS IF WE'RE MUGS.
WE'VE CRACKED THE WHIP,AND TUGGED WITH ROPES
AND STILL CAN'T MAKE HER NUDGE
YOU COULD PRIME HER ARSE WITH DYNOMITE
YET STILL SHE WOULDN'T BUDGE.

SO,WE BROUGHT THE EXPERTS IN,
FOR MANY A YEAR THEIR GLOAT
"THERE'S NEVER YET BEEN FOALED A HORSE
THAT WE COULDN'T GET ON A FLOAT."
THEY ARRIVED JUST AFTER SUNRISE,
THEIR CONFIDENCE WAS HIGH
BUT THEY HADN'T EVEN CAUGHT "OLD GIRL"
WITH HALF THE DAY GONE BY.
SHE GOT CAUGHT,WHEN SHE WANTED TO
AND ACTED QUIET AND TAME
LITTLE DID THE EXPERT KNOW
IT WAS ALL PART OF THE GAME.

SHE EYED THE FLOAT,FROM AFAR
THEN SAUNTERED UP,QUITE NEAR
THEN JUST WHEN THEY THOUGHT,THEY'D HAD HER BEST
ON BACK LEGS DID SHE REAR.
ONE WENT FLYING THIS WAY,
THE OTHER RAN OFF THAT.
THE OLD GREY MARE LET OUT A LAUGH,
AS ON THE THIRD ONE,THERE SHE SAT.

THE EXPERTS,THAT COULD NOT BE BEAT,
WHO SAID THEY WERE THE BEST,
TO THE OLD GREY MARE WERE NOTHING
WHEN SHE PUT THEM TO THE TEST.

WE DECIDED AFTER THAT
TO LET THE OLD GIRL STAY
'CAUSE SHE DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO GO,
OR ,SHE'D HAVE GONE ANYWAY.
BUT NOW,THE HOUSE IS UP FOR SALE
AND THE ADVERTISEMENT READS OF COURSE.
"THREE BEDROOMS,LOUNGE AND DINING ROOM,
AND A STUBBORN OLD GREY HORSE."

A MAN CAN'T DO RIGHT IF HE TRIES

I WAS FIRST GIVEN THE NAME "MAD TONE" BY RICHARD, A FRIEND OF MINE.HE MEANT "MAD" IN THE "SILLY AS A HAT FULL OF ARSEHOLES" WAY--BUT MY WRITINGS, AS DALE ANOTHER FRIEND OF MINE HAS POINTED OUT--HAS BEEN "MAD" IN THE ANGRY KIND OF WAY.SO BARING ANY NATURAL OR WORLDLY BUGGER UPS-FOR A WHILE WE SHALL BE DOING MORE OF THE AUSTRALIAN BUSH TYPE POEMS.YOU MAY FIND (AS IN THIS ONE) JIM AND LORNE POP UP,THEY ARE A COUPLE OF LOVELY DOWN TO EARTH PEOPLE I MET SOME YEARS AGO.JIM WAS A SHEARER AND FATHER OF FOUR,WHO SPENT MUCH OF HIS CHILDRENS EARLY YEARS TRAVELLING AUSTRALIA SHEARING.LORNE THE DILIGENT WIFE SHE WAS,STAYED AT HOME AND RAISED THE KIDS.JIM WAS THE KIND OF BLOKE THAT WOULD GO TO THE RUBBISH DUMP (TIP) AND COME BACK WITH MORE THAN HE TOOK,MUCH TO LORNE'S DISGUST.JIM HASN'T BEEN WELL OF LATE AND I RE-DEDICATE THIS "BUSH POEM " TO HIM

"WHATS THE MATTER PET" SAID JIM,
AS HE STRUGGLES OUT OF BED.
"WHAT YOU DOIN,WHAT YA THINKIN?
TELL ME ,WHATS A STIRRING IN YER HEAD ?"

"OH,DON'T WORRY JIM,
IT WAS JUST A SILLY WISH
I WAS PICTURING IN THE FRONT YARD,
A NICE POND,WITH SOME FISH."

"THATS O.K PET,SHE'LL BE RIGHT,
NO SOONER SAID THAN DONE.
YOU KNOW I LIKE A CHALLENGE,
BESIDES,THIS COULD BE FUN,
AND I KNOW THE VERY THING",HE SAID
"WELL BUGGER,BLESS MY SOLE,
I'M POPPING DOWN THE ROAD PET,
GET THE SPADE AND DIG THE HOLE."

WELL,LORNE GOT OUT HER DIGGING BOOTS
AND HER BEST CAR BOOT SALE SHIRT.
SHE WAS MUD FROM ARSE TO ARMPIT
AS SHE STARTED DIGGING DIRT.
AND BY THE TIME OLD JIM GOT BACK
SHE'D A TRENCH FROM DRIVE TO PATH
"YOU POOR OLD BUGGER,SILLY THING,
THATS TOO BIG FOR THIS BATH".

"A BATH ?" SHE SAID"WHATS THAT FOR?
YOU SAID I'D GET A POND
YOU COULDN'T MAKE THAT THING LOOK RIGHT
WITH A BLOODY MAGIC WAND"
"NO WORRIES PET,SHE'LL BE RIGHT
GO GET THE FISHING POLE
AND WHILE YOU'RE BUSY DOING THAT.
I'LL FILL IN HALF THE HOLE".

"BUT I WANTED A FISH POND,
NOT A BLOODY BATH,
NOT SITTING IN MY FRONT YARD,
EVERYONE WILL LAUGH.
AND WHAT YA MEAN,THE FISHING POLE?
WHATS THAT ALL ABOUT?
I WANT IT FULL OF GOLDFISH
NOT CARP AND BLOODY TROUT."

"WELL,THERE'S NO PLEASING SOME,"SAID JIM
"I CAN'T DO RIGHT NO FEAR,
I'LL JUST HAVE TO THINK ON THIS,
GET A SMOKE,LETS HAVE A BEER".
AND JIM STILL SITS THERE THINKING
FIVE YEARS DOWN THE PATH,
ITS THE ONLY HOUSE IN THEIR STREET,
THATS GOT A FRONT YARD BATH

TRUST ME (AUSTRALIA DAY POEM)

AUSTRALIA DAY HAS BEEN AND GONE ONCE AGAIN,AND EVERY YEAR ITS THE SAME-THE WHITE "INVADERS" CELEBRATE,AND THE BLACK (INDIGENOUS)COMMISERATE.

WE BLAME THE ABORIGINALS
FOR BEING BLACK,FOR DRINKING.
BUT DID WE EVER THINK TO STOP
AND WONDER WAHT THEY'RE THINKING?
TWO HUNDRED YEARS AGO WE CAME
WITH SWORD AND GUN IN HAND.
DESTROYING,KILLING ALL IN FRONT
AS WE RAPED THEIR SACRED LAND.
WE TAUGHT THEM THAT THEIR WAY OF LIFE
WAS DIRTY,CRUDE AND WRONG
BUT STILL WE COULDN'T BREAK THEM,
THEIR LOVE OF OUR LAND TOO STRONG.
WE TAUGHT THEM HOW TO READ AND WRITE
GO TO CHURCHES,PRAY TO GOD.
WHILST WE ,IN OUR HEDONISTIC WAY
OVER THEIR VERY CULTURE TROD.
YES,WE TOOK THIS SUNBURNT COUNTRY
IN CRUEL,ONE SIDED FIGHTS.
NOT CARING FOR THEIR DREAMTIME,
NO BLACK COULD HAVE LAND RIGHTS.
BUT NOW,A TWINGE OF CONSCIENCE SHOWS,
WE WANT TO GIVE SOME BACK,
BUT THEY DON'T SEEM TO TRUST US,
OUR BROTHERS,FRIENDS,OUR BLACKS.

WILL YOU FOLLOW?

A FRIEND OF MINE ONE DAY ASKED IF I COULD WRITE A POEM ABOUT GOD.WELL I THINK MOST OF MY POEMS ARE ABOUT A GOD OF SOME KIND,BUT I KNEW WHAT HE MEANT,SO I HAD A GO AT WRITING AS IF I TRULY BELIEVED THAT THERE JUST MIGHT BE A SECOND COMING SO I SUPPOSE ITS MORE ABOUT JESUS REALLY ISN'T IT?

I WISH JESUS COULD COME HERE TODAY,
AND IF HE DID,I WOULD SAY,
"ITS SO LONG WE'VE WAITED,
NOW YOU'VE COME WE'RE ELATED,
NOW PLEASE,HEAL THE WORLD IF YOU MAY.

WE REALLY NEED JESUS TODAY,
FOR THE WORLDS IN A TERRIBLE WAY,
IF WE DON'T PULL TOGETHER
IT COULD BE LOST FOREVER
AND THE ULTIMATE PRICE WE WILL PAY.

WOULD JESUS DO JUST ONCE MORE,
WHAT HE DID TWO THOUSAND BEFORE.
COULD HE TAKE ALL THE PIECES,
AND SHOW US WHAT PEACE IS
THEN RID US OF HATRED AND WAR.

IF JESUS CAME HERE TODAY,
WOULD HE TAKE JUST ONE LOOK,THEN AWAY
OR WOULD HE THINK THAT THERE COULD
BE A GLIMMER OF GOOD
THEN FIND SOME DISCIPLES AND STAY?

WILL YOU GO IF HE CALLS?
WILL YOU FOLLOW
TO PLACES YOU NEVER HAVE BEEN?
WILL YOU HELP RID THE WORLD OF ALL EVIL
AND GIVE OUR CHILDREN A PLACE THAT IS CLEAN.

The Angel Of Charters Towers

Charters Towers is a town in Australia.Some years ago we had a nurse by the name of Pamela Rose who took it upon herself to do Gods work with the sick and dying in the local hospital-Following is my tribute to Pamela Rose who stood trial charged with the murder of one of her patients Ron Bucholtz.

SHE WAS THE ANGEL OF CHARTERS TOWERS,
SHE TOOK AWAY GODS POWERS,
VISITED THEM LATE,THROUGH THE NIGHT
SHE STROKED THEIR HEAD"IT'LL BE ALRIGHT"
BUT WHEN THEIR PAIN WAS TAKEN,
IT LEFT CHARTERS TOWERS SHAKEN
MANY PEOPLE LEFT TO SOB
"IS IT RIGHT TO DO GODS JOB?"

SOME PEOPLE SAY "ITS BEST TO BE
YOUR LIFE IN HANDS OF DESTINY,
NO THOUGHTS OF BEING WELL AGAIN
BUT THEY DON'T SEE THE PAIN,THE STRAIN
A PILLOW, CRADLE FOR THEIR HEAD
CAN'T MOVE,JUST WASTE AWAY IN BED.
TO SIT AND FEEL YOU BODY ROT
ALL THOUGHTS OF LOVE AND LIFE FORGOT.

YES,I BELIEVE IN DESTINY
AND PAMELA ROSE ,IS PART YOU SEE?
SHE COULDN'T SEE THEM LYING THERE
WHEN A MUCH MORE PEACEFUL ROAD COULD STEER.
SHE SET HERSELF AS JURY,JUDGE
A PUSH TO DEATH SHE GAVE A NUDGE
FOR RON BUCHOLTZ THERE'S NO MORE PAIN,
HIS FAMILY FREED,TO LIVE AGAIN

AND NOW HIS FEEBLE LIFE IS LOST
ITS PAMELA ROSE THAT PAYS THE COST.
STAYS IN HER HOME,SHE'S IN RETREAT
SHE CAN'T WALK DOWN THE CITY SREETS
THERE SHE STAYS,AND WON'T COME OUT
TO GIVE THEM MORE TO TALK ABOUT
BUT,PAMELA ROSE,DON'T GIVE UP THE FIGHT,
FOR THOSE WHO THINK YOU DID WHATS RIGHT.

AND PAMELA ROSE, SHOULD I EVER BE THIS ILL
I HOPE AND PRAY, YOU'RE NURSING STILL.